I wasn’t sure if this would be something I’d share, or not…in fact, I didn’t really want to, but I knew that most would understand what I was trying to say. The week before our blog went live, I wrote down a few of my fears. Strange thing to do, I guess ; ) I was journaling/brainstorming, and this was one of things on my mind – starting something new has a way of surfacing fears. “I am afraid…to fail…of loss…to be found out…of not being good enough…of being conceited.”
Over the next few days, God used a devotional that I was reading to the kids to nudge my faith. Do you remember the story of Peter walking on water? Matthew 14:22-33.
While looking at Jesus, Peter leapt out of the fishing boat and started walking on top of the waves! He is a living example of an obedient follower of Christ, full of hope and courage and faith. He seems oblivious to every one of our natural responses to natural laws – He didn’t fear.
But at some point Peter began to notice a few things around him: wind, deep water, his friends behind him (very much having natural responses to natural laws!) – he took his eyes off Jesus. Peter gave into fear and immediately began to sink.
As I ponder these series of events and how it all played out, I can’t help noticing that nothing had changed – other than Peter’s thoughts: his feet remained the same, the deep sea was the same, and his Savior’s face was still calm and inviting. At some point, Peter’s spirit of fear overtook his trust in Jesus. In that moment he was losing the fight of faith.
But Peter cried out! Here’s another lesson for me – When I lack trust, I don’t always cry out – I don’t often seek my Savior’s calm and inviting face. I succumb to the fear with abandonment. Peter called out, “Lord, save me!” Jesus reached out His hand to Peter and brought him to safety, because He would not let Peter sink in his lack of faith.
Once safely back in the boat, all of the disciples worshiped Christ. This should be a reminder to me that through my struggles with fears and faith, walking and sinking, He WILL be glorified.
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power, and love,
2 Timothy 1:7
with love. Damaris